This is where I start.

One year ago was my first day of unemployment after losing my corporate job. On this day in 2021, I had so many feelings - freedom, sadness, regret, hope, desire, exhaustion, guilt, shame, pride - a true rollercoaster of emotion. What I would come to learn over the next year was within reach, but completely unknown to me at the time, and it has been truly life changing.

The second day of unemployment I knew I wanted to start my own business. I didn’t think for a millisecond that I was going to do it, but I knew I wanted it. Somewhere deep in my body I believed I could. Could, not would.

I looked back at some of the wild things that have happened to me over the years, and how I have responded with so many tears, much fear, laughter, terror, and trepidation. It was time for change. Transformation. In the beginning the hardest part was resisting the questions of what will you do next, how many weeks has it been, how much money did you spend? Pushing away the shoulds and the pressure of our conditioned life that permeates our being and steals our joy. It was time to leave behind the life where I believed only what I know and have done is what I can do.

As humans, it’s easy to look back and see more objectively what a terrible place you were in, and how your own behaviour doesn’t align with who you know yourself to be, and often it takes some catastrophic event for that clarity to arrive.

What I learned is that I had been in pain, and had been choosing everything except myself for a very long time in an effort to protect me. Sounds silly to say that my prioritizing work and defining myself by a job was protection, and that’s exactly what I had been doing for as long as I could remember. A convenient excuse to be a terrible friend, family member, loved one, and not let anyone get truly close to me. What else I learned was that was no longer good enough for those friends, family members and loved ones, and frankly, it wasn’t good enough for me. Fear is a poor teacher.

When I surrendered to healing and caring for myself, I was overwhelmed with the feeling of love. This feeling in my chest every day where my heart was bursting with love for everyone and everything - when did I last feel this? No recollection arose. I was conditioned by so many years of working 10-12+ hours a day, and feeling anger towards the people who strolled into the office (remember those days?) at 9, spent half an hour grabbing their coffee catching up with colleagues, only to leave again at 4:30 to attend to their life and some fun activities. Why them and not me?

It was time to empty the backpack of resentments, hurts, regrets and low vibrational energies, and make room for the courage, compassion, love, patience, gratitude, and kickass entrepreneurial energy that was being held back.

Alignment happens as you live your life, not when you are thinking about it. I can live a life of alignment, and do incredible work, and experience great love. The love just had to start within, reclaiming parts of myself left completely unexpressed, and not comparing myself to other people. This takes a lot of work, deep personal inner work, and a commitment to the truth behind the armor. I took several months dedicated to this work before I stepped out into my power, and my first biggest experiment, starting my own business.

Life is a wonder, full of wonder, and my most authentic self is a loving, funny, tender powerhouse who wants to improve this world. She wants to be wildly expressed, and seize every opportunity to change the world. This is more achievable running my own company, working with a variety of organizations and individuals than it is within the 4 “walls’ of one employer.

My priorities now are to make a positive difference in the lives of those I encounter every day whether it be in personal or in business, or both! In my life and my business I choose my own happiness, health, and mental wellbeing, as well as quality time with the people who make life meaningful.

What I have done with the things that I’ve discovered so far is dare to be authentic, live life bravely, lead with a whole heart, invest in self, and know we can do anything. That second day of unemployment my instinct said I wanted to start my own business, and 5 months later I started it. It only takes one step to start the rest of your life. It only takes one call, one client, one yes to start, and then just continue on with one foot in front of the other, forward.

As with everything that has moved forward, so has the world, and now the employee experience demands more change at a faster pace than we are seeing. My business is to further the evolution of how employees experience the workplace and continue to move past human resources and toward human beings. So far this has been my greatest accomplishment, the source of much pride, and a whole lot of fun. I’m now going to start speaking up and out, and this is where I start.

With that, back to that old question of what’s next… It no longer comes with the heavy pressure of “not enough”, rather it is driven by the excitement of anything’s possible.